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Stepping In and Stepping Forward with Our Graduates

This month my family has a lot to celebrate.  Besides all seven children moving forward, we have some special moves to make.  My 5^th grade daughter moves up to Middle School, or as we called it “Jr. High”. The twins are moving up to High School, and the larger step for many, is our senior who will graduate this year.

With each celebration we are taken back to memories of our own childhoods.  I’m sure we can all recall moments during these periods in our lives that have shaped who we are.  It feels not so long ago, when infact, it has been decades. 

When I look back I often wonder how each decision affected who I am today.  I yearn for the friendships of yesteryear that were so real and easy to maintain.  The time where effortless bonds were created without knowing, and  flourishing foundations built without effort.  It stands to reason that these moments are never really appreciated until we are here, in our “parent” years, seeing the world through the eyes of our children.

They say we learn from our mistakes, and surely we do.  We only wish we could

pave the way for our children by taking those lessons and applying them in fast forward motion to the paths they choose, so that the tough lessons aren’t thrown their way.  But, we can’t.   So as we wish our seniors well and set them on their way, we hold their hearts forever and let go of their hands.  While I’m no great creator of the right path in romance (obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing a column on remarriage and stepfamilies- had I gotten it right the first time) and my present career in real estate was not even part of my college plans when majoring in business, there are some words tried and true that they can take with them.  So seniors, these are for you;

Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.   Simple words of wisdom that help you understand that you need to choose the right people to surround yourself with.   Your friends are a reflection of you, be sure you choose well, and associate with those that best emphasize the positive attributes you already display.

Stand for Something or you’ll fall for anything.  Peer pressure doesn’t cease when you leave high school.   Truth be told, peer pressure will exist well into adulthood. You need to know when to stand for what you believe in, when to act on it, and when to walk away.  Don’t drink and drive, even if you’re 50.  Infact, lets take that one step further-don’t even drink and talk, if you can help it!

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.  Do not give up if things get tough, it’s the old saying of “try, try again”.  Know that you are at the place everyone else has been and it won’t be easy, but it will get easier.  Do your best, and your best will be good enough.

Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.  I just have to address the dating drama. If it is taking up all you have to give, and efforts are huge and returns are small, it is time to leave it broken!  Don’t let a relationship define you, define yourself – and then find your relationship that is supportive of the wonderful you. (Yes, I figured this out at 43) J

As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. In your future employment, find the office with the co-workers you respect and admire.  Being happy in your environment is a great step towards future success.  Choose well those you affiliate yourself with, as reputation is everything.

Don’t go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands.  This is a simple reminder that it is better sometimes to give than to receive.  It is often by helping others that we get our greatest rewards.  Give of your time to the less fortunate if you feel the desire.  Charity work builds character.

In closing, I’m reminded of the lyrics that I gave to my oldest daughter, now in her 4^th year of college, on her high school graduation day.

I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance…I hope you dance

Congratulations Class of 2009!